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《Call Me By Your Name 以你的名字呼喚我》 page 152 別說你本來不知道


最近在FB上分享個人滿喜歡的或可以拿出來討論的《Call Me By Your Name 以你的名字呼喚我》原著(中譯或原文)的段落。剛開始在發出這篇段落時,我說電影和原著這場的「含義」不太相同:因為我們只在乎Oliver有沒有吃桃子和Elio哭的原因。但我左思右想,導演Luca會這樣安排一定有他的道理,絕對不是我那麼膚淺的人可以馬上懂得。果然…。


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我看著他把桃子放進嘴裡,慢慢吃了起來,同時熱烈地凝視著我。我想,即使做愛也不過如此。

某個屬於我的東西在他嘴裡,變成他的東西。就在我凝視他的那一刻,我不知道我怎麼了,突然有想哭的強烈衝動。

我哭,是因為從來沒有一個陌生人對我這麼好,或為我做到這地步。我哭,是因為我從來沒體驗過這麼強烈的謝意,而我無法以其他方式表達。我哭,是因為今天早上我曾經對他懷抱惡意。也是為了昨夜,因為無論結果好壞,我都無法將昨夜的事情一筆勾銷,而現在是讓他知道的最好時機:知道他是對的;知道這種事不容易;知道玩笑與遊戲常常滑出正軌;知道如果我們曾經貿然做了一件事情,現在要抽身已經太遲。

我哭,是因為某件事情就要發生,但我不知道那是什麼。

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不需要用直白的互動畫面來呈現角色之間的火花,這是從主角們的第一夜就能嗅出導演想呈現的節奏與想像空間。撇開Oliver到底有沒有吃下那顆被Elio受精過的桃子,在Oliver將手指進入桃子再進入自己口中的舉動,他便百分之百接受Elio在自己之中。


然而令我意外的是,在電影中哭泣的Elio對Oliver說的這句:「I don't want you to go...」,(不知道是導演Luca在拍攝時更改的還是兩人自然而然發展的對白。),則是呼應了原著中Elio「不知道即將發生的事情」。這句沒有原著中,也沒有在劇本中的話,在電影中卻直白的展現出Elio的內心想法與兩人即將面對的現實。

Elio懂Oliver沒道理的明白,就像Oliver對Elio說「千萬別說你本來不知道」,但他什麼都知道,只是逃避和假裝不知道。

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